My Belting Staff

I manage and rotate my belts very similarly, if not exactly like, a Major League Baseball manager handles his pitching staff.  Right now, I’m going with a five belt rotation. My Black Leather Belt is the ace of the staff, and when called upon, can really go the extra mile. Next up, I have my Single Hole Leather Belt, which is like belt 1B, since in many other wardrobes I’m confident Brownie would be an ace. After that, I have a Double Hole Brown Leather Belt that is just your basic inning eater. Keeps you in the game, solid and reliable, but otherwise unspectacular. Finally, I have Blue Belt that I’m not even sure what material it’s made of. It doesn’t have any holes, and is basically something a middle school kid might wear. Describing it further might actually be detrimental to the both of us. Basically, it’s a great belt for jeans on a Friday, when the other belts need a breather. Finally, I have a Green Duck Belt that has sentimental value because it once belonged to my dad. This belt is the quirky, fan favorite belt that gets the call every once in while for extemporaneous reasons, like there was a rain-out and the next day is a double header.

I like to think the belts appreciate each other, much the way a major league pitching staff collectively works together for one goal. Like when Black Leather Belt goes Monday and Tuesday, then Tuesday night, when I am changing into pajamas, the other belts all greet Black Leather Belt like a pitcher returning to the dugout after eight scoreless innings.

“Nice job,” they might say. “Way to carry us through the start of the week.”

It’s not easy managing belts like a major league manager, but with experience comes wisdom.

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