Greetings readers of the Faucet! Thank you as always for taking the time to read my blog. I want to report that Joe The Plumber, the original writer of the Faucet blog that I took over for, is still hearing that darned drip drip drip inside his head, but the good news is that the blood-curdling screams of agony are, on the whole, less.
I wasn’t able to write a blog entry this week. When I went to visit Joe, there was a large accumulation of buckets he had ordered off Amazon, presumably to catch the drips that aren’t happening, and well, one thing led to another and I got caught up in a bucket drive to get buckets to the bucket-needy. That’s a story for another time, but the experience gave new meaning to the lyrics of the Grateful Dead tune, “Hell In A Bucket.”
Fortunately, I belong to a humor blog writers association that for a very minimal donation of plucked nose hairs in sealed envelopes (not sure what they use them for, again another matter) provides substitute humor writers for cases just like these. This writer wished to be known as That Guy has produced the following blog, which I have not vetted for quality assurance and therefore disclaim any all liability pertaining to thusly.
WAYS I WALK UP THE STAIRS IN MY HOUSE
By That Guy
- The old standard two-steps-at-a-timer followed by one for the last step.
- The two-stepper followed by the big three step jump at the end (less frequent).
- The beat down one begrudging step after the other, the toe barely surmounting the carpeted lip, weight heavily on the handrail, usually at the end of another beat down of a day.
- The start-off-with-a-three-step jump, followed by two-at-a-time for running up to grab things.
- The one step, mixed with two step, that also includes randomly playing air drums.